rachel was kind enough to feature my treasure map note cards with some other piratical listings on her blog, in honor of her son learning to say the word "pirate"! three cheers for daniel!

Posted by Unknown at 4:50 PM 5 comments  

dear manufacturers of 12x12 paper,

please cease and desist manufacturing paper. i have enough already and am not strong enough to resist the temptation of buying more. i need to use all the beauties that i already have, so back off.

dear paper handling clerks at michaels, jo-anns, hobby lobby, etc.,

please do not manhandle my individual pieces of paper like you are wrangling an alligator to it's death. they are sweet, innocent, defenseless pieces of paper who i'm certain mean you no harm. be kind. be gentle. put on your white gloves before you touch my paper and give me a nervous breakdown.

dear joann.com,

please find my two orders that i placed online THREE WEEKS AGO. what? seriously. whatever weird way you shipped them, no one can find them. i wish i'd known it would take this long, so i could have built my own machinery from scraps to manufacture my very own products that i tried to buy from you.

dear my homemade chocolate chip cookies,

please stop tempting me to eat two of you every day.

dear soon-to-be-born my goddaughter baby mckenna,

i cannot wait to meet you and dress you up in skull and crossbones gear and and black tutus. it will be just lovely.

xoxo,
man

Posted by Unknown at 9:37 PM 3 comments  

amid some health issues i've been experiencing lately, i was referred to a chiropractor/nutritionist tonight and i quite enjoyed the experience, i must say. he was a super nice and enthusiastic guy and i felt more like we were going to figure this out in the first five minutes then i have by any of the five, yes FIVE, doctor's appointments i have had in the past month.

in addition to the adjustment that he did, we did some acupuncture! it was weird and wild and not nearly as bad as i could have ever guessed. he was nice enough to use the smallest needles on this acupuncture virgin.



this was on the ceiling, which normally i would be tempted to disregard entirely. but since i had a slightly panicky, wanna run and get these needles outta me feeling, i took the 30 minutes to actually read the poster and spend time thinking about each phrase. i got an amazing, surprising sense of peace and calm today. it was awesome, and i'm feeling so good right now. about my health, and my life and my being.

which really is incredible, seeing as how i just had a needle jammed into my skull by a stranger.

Posted by Unknown at 8:17 PM 3 comments